My blog title will make my brother feel very proud. Being an only sibling, he would be thinking I am going to be writing about him. Though this title suits him more than aptly, I am going to pen about my "Pakistani" brother. Do I hear "aah!"s and "oh!!"s?
Working in UAE has given me a chance of working with many Pakistanis. Especially with a clang famously called the "The Pattans".
I work with one such Lovely person. Yes he is a "Lovely Person". FULL STOP. I hope you would enjoy reading this abstract, as much as i enjoyed being a part of this, everyday.
When my previous driver absconded, my HR guy called me and said "Ranjini, All your worries are solved. I have got a very good guy for you as a driver, well within our budget and with good recommendations." He didnt stop with this. He also said "I am sure he would be much better than Niyas". Niyas was our previous driver who was real High class, top to bottom. He speaks lovely English, dresses equal to our managers w/o a tie. No one would call him a driver if they are meeting him for the first time. So, since my HR had said a guy better than Niyas!! I was really waiting to meet my new driver.
My receptionist called me to say there is a person waiting to see you. And this is said with a sly smile. I was wondering "why is she smiling?" and I came running to see my future driver!! I keep searching the whole place and I ask her where is he? She says "This person madam....he only." She refers to the only person present there.....A PATTAN.....dressed in PATTANI SUIT.......I stood there for 2 minutes staring at him and trying to collect myself. Just then I realised my HR has been pulling my leg!!!!!!!
Now after 1 1/2 years of working with him, I can proudly say I have become an expert in the "Nava Rasa Bahavas". Any day you call me for Lec Dem on this topic, I would come up with an amazing presentation, with just one person in my mind.......Mr.Naeem Shah!!!!!! Thanks to him, I have improved myself in many things. I have started speaking Hindi so well that even my Husband is surprised...You want me to teach a kid on routes....I would be your best choice.....The best outcome of it is.......my patience!!!! whew!!!!!! How much I have improved on this!!!!! Though my family would not agree, my colleagues would definitely agree......You want proof??? read the instances below........
One day, I had given him a multiple task. I had asked him to submit an invoice with a customer and proceed to our HO in Abu Dhabi, to deliver materials and documents. The said documents also contained an envelope marked "Accounts" which contained the expense claims made by our Project Manager. I had explained every single detail to him clearly and in fact marked things for him also. And he also tells me "Poora samaj gaya....Koi problem nahin hai madam ji....aap aaram karo" meaning, "I understood everything, no problem, you stop worrying." So i really stopped worrying and started concentrating on my other tasks.
After 30 minutes, I get a call...."Hi Ranjini....this is XXX calling from XXX company (where I had asked Naeem to submit the invoice). Your driver is here submitting the documents." I am very happy!! he has done the job correctly....the caller continues.."Do I have to accept these documents? What should I do with these?" I think.....Naeem is better!!!! This guys seems to be even more dumb!!!!.....I start explaining to him on why I am sending the Invoice. For which Project it was and explained that there was a completion certificate, certifying that the work is completed and that it would be payable in 30 days from when he is accepting the invoice. He listens to all this very patiently. I would ahve explained for atleast 5-8 minutes....Then he asks me "So, I make a payment to Mr. so & so (My Project Manager's name) directly or to your Company?" Now, I am really puzzled. Why is he bringing our Project Manager into this? I asked him why he is asking me this.....This invoice says very clearly payable to our Company and has our Bank Details mentioned in it. He tells me..."No Ranjini, there is nothing mentioned." I re-check the invoice I printed out from my system...Everything is OK....I didnt agree...He kept telling me he was right......We were arguing for 20+ minutes.....Then he gets annoyed with me and says "Ranjini, this document your driver is presenting to me has "Expense claims" mentioned...It doesnt even have the word "Invoice" mentioned in it!!!!!" hee heee heeeeee..........I think you understand :)
Thats just about his work. I should say, from there he has really improved. He really strives hard to prove to us that he is worth the money paid to him. But.......Mera Bhai......is still the same old Pattan....
One day, while I was getting his work organised, our bhaiyya is deeply engrossed in the news paper. He comes running to me with the paper in hand. His face was beaming with pleasure. He tells me "madam ji, dekho..." He shows me a picture where in the borders during Holi, a Pakistani & an Indian Soldiers hug each other with colours in their face. He goes on..(Translating to English for better understanding) "Everyone says Pakistanis and Indians are enemies.....See this madam ji, we are so close!!!! We are like a nail and the finger (nakhun aur haath jaisse). Dont you agree madam ji?" What do I say to this? I smile and keep quiet...I dont want to get politics on the table. But bhaiyya doesnt want to stop there. He goes on from one topic to another and finally reaches the topic of the Talibans....At this point i could not resist and I asked...."Naeem aap Taliban ho kya?" (Are you a Taliban?) he says "No Madam ji, we are not Talibans. Those people are attacking us. They are making us go away from our homes. But madamji, You should understand that Talibans are not fully wrong. If someone will come and attack wont you attack back?" To this i ask "So, do you have guns in your house?" He is very happy.....Seems to be his favourite topic "Yes madam ji, bahut sare hain ghar mein." I asked him why he has kept all these at home. "When someone fights with us we shoot at them." I asked him..."Oh!!!! First you shoot, then you think?" Now he is at the peak of Pride and happiness..."Why should we think after shooting....The person dies...why to think of him unnecessarily?" Oh my God!!!! with whom am I speaking???? I need to be cautious here...So I ask...."Have you got guns here?" he is very sad now...Poor guy...."No madam ji, Idhar allowed nahi hai naa....Lekhe nahi aa sakthe"....meaning, Its not allowed here so I coudnt get it here. To make my stance clear I go further and ask ....."I shout at you everyday and you get angry....Would you have shot me had you had the gun?" he laughs....So I am comfortable......But in a second he says "Yes" Oh MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!
I dont know whether I am stupid or very brave. But what he said did not stop me from shouting at him. You know why????? Go on reading.....you will know....
One day he was tensed.....Someone was calling him and harrasing him that his friend had done a crime and he was party to it. He claimed to go to the police. I spoke to this guy and felt this was a serious issue and involved my PRO and everyone into it. We were not sure if this was a hoax call or if this guy was really at fault. So, I went upon advising Naeem to accept if he knew the criminal and we can support him if and when he accepts. I advised him a lot. I told him not to lie. To think to see if he can locate this guy, I would have advised him for a long time. Everyone in my office were listening to this. Though mostly no one understood as they are of different countries, they got it that I am trying to make a point and not being successful. So, when Naeem was leaving the office, some one says...."Naeem, come back with red bull or some other energy drink. After talking to you for so long, Ranjini would definitely need this." As it is, sirji was really upset. When he heard this, he got really angry. He banged the door and went out. In exactly 5 seconds he returned, faced everyone, Pointed his fingers at the guy who made this remark and said in ENGLISH (which is very very rarely used by him) "SHE IS MY SISTER!!!! BE CAREFUL". And the office remained silent for 2 whole minutes. I really wish I had a camera to capture his expression when he said this. No words can best describe this.
So this is how Naeem became my "Brother" and a very caring one at that. Infact, when his mobile was left in the office by mistake, me being me, checked how he has stored my name. Was i surprised? Or was it pride??? My number was stored as "Loving Sister"
One day he saw me carrying a box of earings. He wanted to see all of it. Then he said..."Madam ji aap yeh sub mujhe de do. Meri biwi, babi aur behan hai..Unko pasand aayega. Please madam ji de dho naa" meaning...Madam please give me all the earrings. I have a wife, SIL & sister and they will like. Please give me. I told him, i have used all these so I will get him new ones before he goes on his vacation. He was vvvvery happy. He said "Please madam ji. Dont forget. I will give to everyone and say MY BELOVED SISTER has got you these!!" MMMMM......
One day while i was travelling with him from AUH, he started his usual IndoPak topic. This time he asked "Madam ji, This year, I will go to Saudi with Athaulla bhai (My counter part in AUH). Next year I will go to France. my uncle is there. The year after, I want to come to India. I will get Visa no? I want to go to your house, Athaulla bhai's house and meet all your people. And I want to marry an Indian Girl!" I said WHAT???????? "You are already married. Why do you want to marry again?" He says "That girl has some problem. And she is not educated. She cant come here. In my place they dont make girls learn. In India they will learn. So I will marry some Indian and bring her here. Dont worry. You can take her Visa. She can work at your place. She will help you in all house work. She can stay in your place. Then I will meet her during the weekends!" Adadada.......What a brother....What a brother!?@#$%^%^%^%
He is very caring. I just have to say I am feeling hungry. If he is around, he will go and get me something to eat. This service has so far been available ONLY for me!!!!! In fact, he has told me, as I am going for my driving classes, he has said...."madamji, juldi pass ho jao..sab ko mittai kilaavoonga.", get your license soon and I will celebrate by distributing sweets to everyone.
And now, he bunked office saying he is having fever. I. asusual, pulled his leg by telling him to be careful and not to come near the office as it might be Swine flu. He got scared. He kept calling me and said "Ghabrao mut haa! mujhe kuch nahi hain. Mein teek hoon!!" Done be afraid. I am fine. Now, he comes back to the office and says "Bukar nahi hai abhi..Mein teek hoon. Aaja. ghar chodthaa hoon aapko!" meaning, he is totally alright and fit again and he will drop me home!!!!!
Isnt he a loving and caring brother? My Pakistani brother!!!!!!!
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